The Air Guitar Competition at the Independent? Very educational. From it, one can learn at least the following:
1. Unfortunately, us ladies need to start air guitaring younger because many of us? We suck. But the beauty of sexism and heterosexism is that we still get bigger applause and many many more woopings and hollerings. Even the blonde headbangy rocker spectator in the front row actually got much more attention than most competitors. Yeay for sexism.
2. Blues songs? Although a pleasurable respite, do not belong in U.S. Air Guitar competitions. Which makes my ears and everything else so so so sad.
3. That guy Bjorn Turoque? He's still a tool.
4. Visually speaking, epilepsy and air guitaring are sometimes dangerously close.
5. (I know, this is SO obvious): White boys? They LOVE their air guitar. Wow. It is startling.
But back to the title question: Well, I figured on NOTHING, but then today I came across the following headline under "TOP NEWS"
Top News: Harry Potter Gets His First Kiss
Yep.
6.26.2007
The Mags Tag.... I Take Your Challenge
In response to the challenge, here are eight random things about me:
1. I never had a cabbage patch kid.
2. I once ate a whole chicken in one sitting in Panama about ten years ago. I have been a vegetarian since 1982.
3. If I ever went back to eating meat, I would start with a corned beef sandwich on rye or a pastrami sandwich from M & L Market on Market/14th.
4. I once tried to escape from the hospital pre-appendectomy. I got all the way to the second floor before my wheelchair and I were caught.
5. Once, at night, I was convinced I wasn't dreaming that someone was sitting on me, holding me down. I woke up the next day to bruises where their fingers had been, the angle of which could not have been self-made.
6. I used to be babysat by a nursing student. In order to get us to stay in bed, she would show us pictures of diseased skin/bodies and tell us that if we got out of bed, that would be what would happen to us. Then she would sit in the hallway outside my room on the red carpeted stairs. All night I would see her face reflected in the globe of the hallway light fixture, distorted like a circus mirror.
7. While cooking peas, I often struggle with the following dilemma: if an uncooked pea falls out of the pot, do you toss it unfeelingly back in the pot to cook (with the rest of the captive peas), throw it away (because it escaped), or take another pea from the pot to join it on its next adventure (and hope the pea you chose is friends with the escaped pea)? As a result of this dilemma, I rarely cook peas.
8. I was recently surprised to learn that I am a rather hopeful romantic. How nauseating is that?
And because I know only one person who would potentially respond to this besides folks already named by Mags, I tag the lovely PQ.
1. I never had a cabbage patch kid.
2. I once ate a whole chicken in one sitting in Panama about ten years ago. I have been a vegetarian since 1982.
3. If I ever went back to eating meat, I would start with a corned beef sandwich on rye or a pastrami sandwich from M & L Market on Market/14th.
4. I once tried to escape from the hospital pre-appendectomy. I got all the way to the second floor before my wheelchair and I were caught.
5. Once, at night, I was convinced I wasn't dreaming that someone was sitting on me, holding me down. I woke up the next day to bruises where their fingers had been, the angle of which could not have been self-made.
6. I used to be babysat by a nursing student. In order to get us to stay in bed, she would show us pictures of diseased skin/bodies and tell us that if we got out of bed, that would be what would happen to us. Then she would sit in the hallway outside my room on the red carpeted stairs. All night I would see her face reflected in the globe of the hallway light fixture, distorted like a circus mirror.
7. While cooking peas, I often struggle with the following dilemma: if an uncooked pea falls out of the pot, do you toss it unfeelingly back in the pot to cook (with the rest of the captive peas), throw it away (because it escaped), or take another pea from the pot to join it on its next adventure (and hope the pea you chose is friends with the escaped pea)? As a result of this dilemma, I rarely cook peas.
8. I was recently surprised to learn that I am a rather hopeful romantic. How nauseating is that?
And because I know only one person who would potentially respond to this besides folks already named by Mags, I tag the lovely PQ.
6.21.2007
Falling Off the Blogging Bandwagon
See what happens when I am not bored off my gourd to the point of being dangerous in class?
OK, so there's dead cats, replacement Brillo-pad cats off dead women, camping, games nights, air guitar competitions, and more to talk about, but let's just chuck all that for the much quicker topic of:
Thank You, Friends
Many of you called or texted me to see how my dad's surgery went.
I am happy to report that all went swimmingly. After an excruciating pre-surgery, full-family "celebratory" meal (think: celebration of his life in case he DIED, I believe was the typically uplifting idea) and after waiting over 6 hours to see him post-op, we were allowed in pairs into the recovery room to find my very cute little dad, all blinky and bleary and drugged. A certain unnamed relative, in the usual display of poor timing and thought-to-voice control, managed to queasify the anesthesia-laden pop by first suggesting that once he get out of the hospital they come BACK to the hospital to sit in the library chairs looking at the exquisite view and eat at the CAFETERIA because it was so scrumptious and then describing in detail the potatoes while the cute little dad turned progressively greener. Sweet. Once said person was ushered out, all returned to status quo, and true to form, in the space of our two minute visit, Cutest Pops in the World told a fairly bad joke (not like made a funny statement, I mean told an actual joke), laughed, pressed his meds button, and fell asleep. Cute.
So thanks for the hollerin. We are all good.
OK, so there's dead cats, replacement Brillo-pad cats off dead women, camping, games nights, air guitar competitions, and more to talk about, but let's just chuck all that for the much quicker topic of:
Thank You, Friends
Many of you called or texted me to see how my dad's surgery went.
I am happy to report that all went swimmingly. After an excruciating pre-surgery, full-family "celebratory" meal (think: celebration of his life in case he DIED, I believe was the typically uplifting idea) and after waiting over 6 hours to see him post-op, we were allowed in pairs into the recovery room to find my very cute little dad, all blinky and bleary and drugged. A certain unnamed relative, in the usual display of poor timing and thought-to-voice control, managed to queasify the anesthesia-laden pop by first suggesting that once he get out of the hospital they come BACK to the hospital to sit in the library chairs looking at the exquisite view and eat at the CAFETERIA because it was so scrumptious and then describing in detail the potatoes while the cute little dad turned progressively greener. Sweet. Once said person was ushered out, all returned to status quo, and true to form, in the space of our two minute visit, Cutest Pops in the World told a fairly bad joke (not like made a funny statement, I mean told an actual joke), laughed, pressed his meds button, and fell asleep. Cute.
So thanks for the hollerin. We are all good.
6.08.2007
One Reason Eye-Rolling is a Great Exercise Here
Reason #54....
Posting for an upcoming Saturday Rally reads [sics are all theirs]:
"Demonstrate against petroleum addiction;and against Iraq war. We'll watch the SF section of "World Naked Bike Ride" asseble, strip, and depart.
Some of us predestrians may also go nude for peace, unless cops threaten us.
For more info,google 'World Naked Bike Ride.'"
You'd think it were warmer here, for all the clothing-free event planning that goes on in these parts.
Posting for an upcoming Saturday Rally reads [sics are all theirs]:
"Demonstrate against petroleum addiction;and against Iraq war. We'll watch the SF section of "World Naked Bike Ride" asseble, strip, and depart.
Some of us predestrians may also go nude for peace, unless cops threaten us.
For more info,google 'World Naked Bike Ride.'"
You'd think it were warmer here, for all the clothing-free event planning that goes on in these parts.
6.07.2007
Jury Duty: 2007
So, at first I was bitter, seeing as how I already DID my jury service earlier this year.... which included calling in a sub for two days so I could hang out and read and make no plans just in case they happened to want to call me, and calling every single night to make sure I was not required to do anything else. Which I swear I did. And I swear I did every single night.
Then, last week, I was shocked to receive a letter saying I had shirked my service (gasp) and if I wanted to keep my money and my freedom, I'd better call up and haul my ass over there. Of course their language was more polite, but this is just a transcript of the obvious undertone.
So, sigh, I ditched a finals day and headed down to the courthouse.
Arrived 5 minutes late. Stayed 33 minutes. Was released, my jury service officially done for another year.
All that finding my offensively sloganed t-shirt for naught.
Then, last week, I was shocked to receive a letter saying I had shirked my service (gasp) and if I wanted to keep my money and my freedom, I'd better call up and haul my ass over there. Of course their language was more polite, but this is just a transcript of the obvious undertone.
So, sigh, I ditched a finals day and headed down to the courthouse.
Arrived 5 minutes late. Stayed 33 minutes. Was released, my jury service officially done for another year.
All that finding my offensively sloganed t-shirt for naught.
It Has Been a Weird Week for Animals
1. The feral parrot colony that used to live outside my apartment building now lives in the trees at my work. I am not paranoid, but the term "stalking" did enter my mind.
2. I may have killed my parents' cat within three hours of taking the folks to the airport. [Since that time, I have driven around with the corpse in the car all around the city, done the kaddish and other Jew rituals over her, made a collage of my family members (because there are no pictures of all of us together), cleared out the refrigerator to store the cat, placed the cat in deep freeze (with the picture), bought a plane ticket to Colombia, and successfully avoided speaking to my parents at all.] Gilda-Mitzvah: RIP.
3. A camel stood for a while on the street corner near our school. Apparently he was stretching his legs.
4. He stood with his friend, a pony. I didn't realize that camels and ponies became friends.
2. I may have killed my parents' cat within three hours of taking the folks to the airport. [Since that time, I have driven around with the corpse in the car all around the city, done the kaddish and other Jew rituals over her, made a collage of my family members (because there are no pictures of all of us together), cleared out the refrigerator to store the cat, placed the cat in deep freeze (with the picture), bought a plane ticket to Colombia, and successfully avoided speaking to my parents at all.] Gilda-Mitzvah: RIP.
3. A camel stood for a while on the street corner near our school. Apparently he was stretching his legs.
4. He stood with his friend, a pony. I didn't realize that camels and ponies became friends.
6.05.2007
Ah.... appreciations
During my students' finals, they always do appreciations. And every year there is crying. And every year there are a few choice phrases that secretly make me laugh. This year the random winning phrases are:
"You are such a funny person. When you talk. I mean... Normally? You are quiet, like a snail..." Huh. I had never considered the relative silence of the snail. Poetic, these people are.
"Wow. You are my best friend. When I first met you, I was really scared. Especially since you had that attitude like, 'Bitch... I am going to kick your ass. I am seriously gonna fuck you UP.'"
Aw. So sweet. So thoughtful.
"You are such a funny person. When you talk. I mean... Normally? You are quiet, like a snail..." Huh. I had never considered the relative silence of the snail. Poetic, these people are.
"Wow. You are my best friend. When I first met you, I was really scared. Especially since you had that attitude like, 'Bitch... I am going to kick your ass. I am seriously gonna fuck you UP.'"
Aw. So sweet. So thoughtful.
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