And I hope everyone will participate in this international day created through Adbusters Magazine. If not by doing a Whirl-Mart, then at least by dressing up as sheep and cheerfully baaaaaaaing at shoppers downtown, or at lesser least in buying nothing, or at the very least nothing material, or at the super very least buying only local organic sustainable materials.
Since July, I have been pretty good about buying nothing material anyways, with a couple glitches. Glitch #1: Since I am buying nothing, sometimes others still feel compelled to try and figure out what I secretly am dying to have someone else buy for me. Like I cannot buy crap myself. Which I can. It's not like I signed a binding contract in the blood of my students (euw) with myself, people. It's that I am choosing to acquire no more things unless major peer pressure dictates I must (like toilet paper for guests - sigh). Anyways, for the "those still unclear on the concept" glitch, I try to help them out. Like when they ask me, "Don't you LOVE that shirt? You don't have it, do you?" while glancing at me sideways, I say, "Well, it'd look so cute on you. For myself, I think if I got it this year, it'd be a great regifting shirt!" which serves to turn the sly sideways glance into a squinty nose wrinkly glare, which I believe ends the conversation and the very thought on the person's mind.
I don't know why people are so against the mention of regifting. It is environmental, thoughtful, and resourceful. I support it almost completely fully. Which reminds me of the other glitch - the very rare rescinding of my own I-don't-have-some-bloody-binding-contract-with-myself glitch to buy a 'nonessential' material item. The rare case? My brother's birthday present. He wanted an Ipod Nano. He could care less that I am trying not to buy anything material. That interferes with one of his major life goals: the acquiring of expensive toys, and a lot of them. My brother, being as subtle as a camel standing on a freeway entrance in Boston, hinted, prodded, requested, asked, and downright told me that is what he wanted. Maybe 50 times in a 5 day period.
Check.
So I thought a lot about it. And I got him one. Told him I had gotten his present. And I was bringing it with me when I came for a visit. I ordered the Red one so at least a penny would be deposited in the fight to minimize AIDS deaths in Africa. I had it engraved on the back with the words: "My sister loves me." I wrapped it. I brought it. I handed it to him.
He replied:
Oh my god! Thanks! You know what's funny? I just got myself an Ipod Nano yesterday at Costco! I haven't even taken it out of the box. Hmmm, I guess I could return it. But it has more memory than the one you bought! Maybe I could return yours. Hey, you engraved the back! My wife needs one - she breaks them all the time. Hey, J, look - a present for you!
And hands her the red one. And this is how much a fan of regifting I am: 98.8% of me laughed and felt resigned relief. Because it was funny. And because luckily, I do also love my recent-sister.
So anyways, I hope this Friday, post the Day Turkeys Dread, you will buy nothing, so no one you are related to regifts your hella thoughtful present within seconds, right before your eyes. Believe me, it is better that way.
