I called my dad the other day just to holla at him. And I mean that in the most friendly and literal way, since he is pretty hard of hearing. He answers his phone in a whisper.
Dad: Hello?
Me: Dad? Are you in a concert, a movie, a lecture, a play?
D: No.
M: (Mind you, I am not even putting down all the "Whats" I asked him). Where are you?
D: I’m at home, why?
M: Is mom asleep next to you?
D: No.
M: Is the cat sitting on your face?
D: No.
M: Are you sick?
D: No.
M: Why are you whispering?
D: Am I? I got my hearing aids yesterday!
M: Hmmm.... and how’s that going?
D: Everything is so … LOUD! I woke myself up snoring last night.
M: Um, dad, ya know you can take those off when you go to sleep.
D: Oh yeah. Huh. Good idea. I am so loud, I can hear myself swallow. I can hear myself chew. Did I always chew so loudly? But it is worse. I can hear people across the room swallow. I can hear people chewing from last week.”
M: (recognizing that this line of conversation could go on indefinitely) Hey, mom must be excited that you don’t yell, "WHAT?" to her every thirty seconds anymore, eh?
My mom, who is profoundly stone deaf in one ear and doesn’t love conversation anyways has for years been getting mad at my dad each and every time he says, ‘What?’ after her sentence, which is pretty much every time she speaks. She responds by getting exasperated and refusing to repeat herself, so I figure she must be happy.
D: Oh you mom and me? (Extended but fairly quiet sigh)
D: Yes, that is a problem.
M: Eh?
D: She says I am whispering now. She is mad she has to keep saying ‘What?’ to me.
Well, it is comforting that even with technological advances, my parents at their core never really change.
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