Momisms at the Movies

My mom, who is really never at a loss for words and rarely cares when people are mad at her, leaves the most fascinating messages on my machine. This installment definitely explains why she never got that film critic job (well..... besides the incidents in which she missed that the guy DIED in The English Patient or that she labeled My Life as a Dog as The Worst Film Ever Made because she did get that the dog died in it).

LAST WEEK

Answering Machine: Beeeeeeeep.

Mom: Your dad is mad at me. [My mom is really not into Hellos or anything]

I took him to see a movie about sailing [my dad LIVES to be anywhere near a boat]. I couldn't remember the name of it. But I told him it was about sailing. So we went to see it and now he is mad at me. I don't know what his problem is.

Machine: Beeeeeeeeeep.

Me: Huh?

[Movie? Dead Calm]

THIS WEEK

Answering Machine: Beeeeeeeep.

Mom: Your dad is mad at me. [See above about mom and greetings]

I wanted to make up for the last movie, which he says was not really about sailing. So I took him to see a movie about canoing [my dad would be buried in a canoe if it were legal]. I couldn't remember the name of it. But I told him it was about canoing. And we went to see it and now he is mad at me. I don't know what his problem is.

Machine: Beeeeeeeeeep.

[Movie? Deliverance]