And you think your Jewish mother is paranoid?
I picked up my mom at her place to take her to the airport. Before getting in the car, she scanned the street, then started waving frantically at the windows of her place, shouting, "Oh Doug and Sherie, it was great to see you! I had a lovely time!" Shouting. Shouting to a window three floors up. I strained my eyes. Squinted a lot. Looked for some strangers so named. Who are Doug and Sherie? Yes, I asked this question, too. They are
NO ONE.
When my incredulous face greets my mother, she responds with her usual exasperated expression, which somehow I read to be, "Duh. It is so people think there is still someone in my place and I am not going on a trip leaving my abode unoccupied so robbers do not break in." Right, as though any thief is foolhardy enough to want to break into anyone's place who (1) believes the entire world is watching them and knows they are going to an airport and (2) waves her hands like a lunatic shouting at empty windows.
I have no doubt that all criminal minds are offering her a wide berth on this one. I certainly am.
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